PFA orders don't help, but here's how to get one in Philadelphia

This situation is not unusual:

About fifteen minutes later, a man in his early 40s riddled his estranged wife with bullets and then fatally shot himself inside their home on Maple Avenue near Trevose in Somerton, [Philadelphia Police Chief Inspector Scott] Small said. Neither victim was identified by police.

"The wife had recently gotten a protection from abuse order, but that didn't stop him from calling her or showing up," Small said.

The man and his estranged wife were both pronounced dead inside at the scene, he added.

A Protection from Abuse (PFA) order is a piece of paper. It stops bullets, knives, baseball bats, and vehicles about as well as any other piece of paper can. It does not go onto the abuser's criminal record, because it's a civil action. It helps you in only 2 ways: the cops may come faster if you tell them you have taken out a PFA against the guy who's stalking you, again, or has broken into your house and started hitting you, again; and the Commonwealth can add a few more criminal charges against your abuser if he's arrested for abusing you again after you get it.

And that's if you get one in the first place. I volunteered at 34 South 11th Street while I was in law school, helping victims of domestic violence understand the hoops they had to jump through to get their PFAs. And there are a lot of hoops.

First, if you go to the wrong office, you can't get a PFA. Temporary Restraining Orders (TROs) are for neighbors, co-workers, and other non-relatives, non-intimates, and non-members of your household. You get a TRO by entering 34 S. 11th St. by a door directly east of the door for PFAs -- it's not just a different office, it's basically a different building. Oh, and outside of ordinary weekday business hours, you have to go to the Criminal Justice Center at 13th and Filbert Streets instead. I'm not sure how many other counties and major American cities make you go to 2 different buildings depending on what hour of the day or day of the week you got beaten up, but there you are.

Second, I hope you don't need much food and that you have childcare arranged for the day. You aren't allowed to bring food or drink into the waiting room, and there are no amenities for kids. But if you leave, you may lose your place on the list, and you'll have to start from scratch.

The ladies' room down the hall is filthy and is mostly used as a smoking room. It hasn't been renovated in at least 25 years.

The system is not computerized. You go into a back room or cubicle and talk to a court functionary -- the back area smells of cigarettes because at least one of the functionaries prefers the office to the ladies' room -- where you start your paperwork. All the papers from that morning's petitioners are physically walked over to the courtrooms. After a while, perhaps even hours or after the office's lunch break, you'll be called to speak before the judge. If you've used the right keywords in your petition (and the functionaries are not terribly helpful in wording the paperwork, and are sometimes actively unhelpful), then you'll get your temporary PFA and some more paperwork. If you haven't used the right keywords, then you have to go home and come back later with bigger bruises. Here's a list of good keywords and phrases:

He placed me in fear of bodily injury

He caused me bodily injury

He touched me sexually without my consent

He stalked me

He controlled my money

Sometimes there are some law students in the lobby area outside the waiting room. They have a lot of brochures to share with you, but the court allows the law students only to hand out brochures. The court has notified the agencies and schools that bring the law students in that they are specifically not permitted to help petitioners with their paperwork, even if it would expedite the process, shorten waiting times, and improve the overall quality of services at 34 South 11th Street. For instance, a big thing that petitioners often miss is including the names of non-resident children or resident close relatives on the petition. Omitted names won't be included in the final order. But the court would rather allow petitioners to accidentally omit a name or two on the paperwork than to have law students help the petitioners.

Another thing petitioners tend to miss is to fail to "shoot the moon." That is, it doesn't hurt to ask for full custody, full child support, payment for personal injury, compensation for loss of property or wages, and counsel fees. Worst you can hear is "no," but you won't even hear that if you don't ask. The court employees zip through the petition paperwork so quickly that they often won't bother to suggest asking.

So now you have your temporary PFA and some more paperwork. The "more paperwork" is court papers you have to serve on your abuser, just like in any other lawsuit. But unlike any other lawsuit in Pennsylvania, you can't serve your abuser by mail. You must personally hand the papers to your abuser (or you can maybe get a cop to do it for you). Philadelphia County is the only county in the Commonwealth where you have to personally serve your abuser. That makes Philly one awesome place to live.

After you've served your abuser, you have to come back to court to get the real PFA. Your abuser has the right to be there and call you a liar, and he can probably get away with some nasty language and intimidating behavior before he's finally kicked out of the courtroom. Try to dress nice so that the judge takes you seriously. Make sure you ask for the full 36-month PFA.

The Philadelphia courts have published a useful guide to obtaining a PFA (PDF); note that the guide is "sponsored" by the Philadelphia Bar Association, which suggests to me that Family Court wouldn't have produced it on its own initiative. If you need a PFA, your best bet is to read that document carefully and call Women Against Abuse (215-686-7082) or Community Legal Services (215-981-3700). Good luck, and certainly don't take this post as some kind of suggestion for self-help.