You know a woman who's had an abortion

I think I'll make this post a recurring feature, or if that's too annoying I'll find a way to work in this statement on a regular basis:

In America, about 1/3 of all women will have at least 1 abortion during their childbearing years (guttmacher.org). Thus, if you know some American women, then you know a woman who has had an abortion, whether she's told you or not.

This post is intended more for my male readers than my female readers. Here's why. It seems to me that when my female friends hear that statistic, they pause for brief moment and then say, "Oh, well, of course." But when my male friends hear it, they're often seriously taken aback.

I've got a theory as to why that happens. It's because many men, even Democrats and Greens and commies, can't imagine a woman they actually know getting an abortion, and they're reluctant to categorize any woman they know as a Woman Who's Had an Abortion. But why don't they want to categorize their female friends so? Well, I think one of the rules of order that we used when I was living in the commune is particularly apt here: check your assumptions. What are they assuming about Women Who've Had an Abortion? In contrast, what are they assuming about the women they know, love, work with, hang out with, sleep with? And why don't those assumptions jibe?

Are you unpleasantly surprised by the realization that about 1 out of every 3 women who attended Drinking Liberally last Tuesday (or who stood in line with you at the supermarket recently, or who graduated high school with you, or who worked on a political campaign with you, or who has dated you) has voluntarily aborted a pregnancy? Then I ask that you think about your reaction a little more critically. Stand back and reflect. Check your assumptions and your white, male, progressive privilege, even if you think you already do.

And for crying out loud, man up and don't show such a disgusted look on your face next time the topic comes up in conversation.

When it comes to reproductive rights politics, there are 2 kinds of women. But the 2 kinds are not "women who get abortions" and "women who don't get abortions." Rather, it's women who have had to decide whether to get an abortion, and women who haven't had to make the decision. Most American women fall pregnant, intentionally or not, at some time during their childbearing years. When a woman falls pregnant, she has to decide whether or not to terminate the pregnancy. And every year, over a million American women choose to terminate. You know a lot more of them than you think you do.