Coffee, then Scotch whisky

Had a cup of coffee at 6:15 p.m. so that I'd make it through a 7:00 to 9:00 p.m. meeting. Now at 10:30 p.m. I'm relaxing with a weegenerous dram of one of Scotland's finest single-malts so that I can get some reasonable number of hours of sleep tonight before heading back to the temp gig up the street tomorrow.

My time management was just fine today; it's the consciousness management that I don't think I've handled so well. Though I must say, a huge advantage of starting at 9:00 a.m. at an office that's a brisk 12-minute walk from home is that I can get quite a few chores done in the morning before I have to leave the house. Laundry ahoy!

Tell you what, the complete shitshow that is the Pennsylvania Supreme Court will not be helping me get to sleep tonight (PDF).

Philip Seymour Hoffman's options

Addiction is awful. I have my own issues or baggage or whatever you want to call it, and I lost a few years in a relationship with someone who was "leaving Las Vegas"; but since I'm not addicted I'm sure I can't fully understand what's going on with someone who has a monkey on their back.

And I'm a civil libertarian. We get just one trip through life, and personally I don't like to spend too much of it disengaged from what's going on around me. I definitely try to avoid risks that will make my trip shorter. But it's not up to me to keep someone else from spending their trip chemically disengaged from the horror of knowing that the end of this trip is oblivion. If it helps you to deal with that horror, then by all means, smoke, drink, snort, chew, pop, shoot. Do what you gotta do; drugging the horror away is certainly an option. Other options include therapy, detox, rehab, or, if your resources are limited, sweating it out.

Absolutely: using is an option. And I think risk reduction is a better idea for public and individual health than prohibition. However, once you have a kid, the option to use goes away.

And if you're an Academy Award-winning actor with three pre-teen kids, then it's even less of an option because your other options include some of the best therapy, detox, and rehab solutions that money can buy.

I don't know what was going on in Philip Seymour Hoffman's present or past. I've thought a lot about addiction before, though it's been just over 5 years since the end of my relationship with an alcoholic. Since I don't know Hoffman and his family, and since I write from a perceived position of safe pseudonymity, my initial reaction to the news of his overdose death was a visceral, "Fuck Philip Seymour Hoffman. You don't get to do that when you have kids."

It's a harsh, insensitive thing to say. Maybe it comes from not a little bit of envy, as well. If I had Academy Award-winning money, I could maybe hire me some childcare and go on a stupendous bender every once in a while, or get better therapy, or, you know, turn my thermostat up in the winter. But mostly it comes from my heart, breaking for three pre-teen children whose father completely failed in his duty to put their needs above his.

Self-medicating, self-destructing

Drugs are rough.

I'm more affected by Amy Winehouse's death than I probably should be. I tend not to be bothered by celebrity deaths -- I don't dig mourning someone you never knew personally, even if their art affected you deeply, though I do dig marking the passing of the life of a performer or creator who gave back to the world, like Paul Newman, or whose work formed the development of the medium itself, like Lillian Gish. When a young or mid-career artist self-destructs with drugs (Rainer Werner Fassbinder), alcohol (Margaux Hemingway), food (John Candy), or sex (Eazy-E), it's a shame for art, and it's a tragedy for the families; but it's as much of a concern to me as any one of the other 6,675 complete strangers who die every day in the U.S. (PDF).

It's not a "27 Club" thing, though I confess that was the immediate idea that sprang to mind. On the other hand, the last time we had one (Kurt Cobain in 1994), I was in a very different place in my life and didn't know a lot of people with extreme problems outside of my own family drama. Also, I was closer in age to the celebrity deceased. In 2011, I'm raising my own child, a musical, artistic daughter who's probably a candidate for a performing arts high school. And I'm the veteran of a relationship with an alcoholic who, when I quit the relationship, was clearly on his way to death by drink (Billie Holiday, unless he lasts as long as Richard Burton) or drunk driving (Ryan Dunn).

Coincidentally to Winehouse's death, I learned that an old internet acquaintance is in the hospital, in a coma, suffering from end-stage liver disease after a couple of decades of alcohol use and attempts at rehab that didn't take. The acquaintance is about my age, maybe only a little bit older. So what's striking me is that I'm at the age when the self-medicating, self-destructive members of my cohort are starting to defeat their bodies' best efforts to keep them alive despite all their drugging, alcohol-soaking, gluttony, and ill-considered sex. Yes, we lost a few people here and there unusually early -- a bicycling accident, muscular dystrophy, a suicide following chronic pain -- but now we're entering the years when long-term, intense poor treatment of our bodies will start to take its toll. Not the buckets of drugs and stress, likely paired with mental illness, that take younger people who burn out at around age 27, but fewer drugs, stress, and illness, over a little bit longer.

I should have titled this post, Member of Generation X Approaches 40; Film at 11.

Pop quiz: Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board

Q: How many anonymous complaints about bottles of unregistered beers does it take for the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board to shut down three bars with no notice or opportunity to be heard?

A: One.

Q: How many murders, violent assaults, and non-anonymous complaints about noise, trash, and disorderly conduct does it take for the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board to shut down a bar?

A: Who knows?

Already this year, 12 people have been killed inside or directly outside of bars [in Philadelphia]. Only three had been killed at the same point last year.

With the increase in shootings, police districts have focused their attention on problem bars, especially at closing time.

But shuttering those truly troublesome bars is not something that happens quickly. It takes time, something that authorities blame on Pennsylvania's ineffective liquor laws.

Although police are forced to deal with numerous nuisance bars each weekend, the Public Nuisance Task Force - a unit of the District Attorney's Office - has shut down only three bars since 2008.

[ ... ]

The Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board can refuse to issue or renew a liquor license, but has no authority to close a bar.

The Bureau of Liquor Control Enforcement investigates about 100 cases a month, said State Police Sgt. Bill LaTorre, but the bureau can only issue citations, conduct investigations and make arrests. An administrative-law judge can suspend or revoke a liquor license based on the citations brought against licensees by the bureau.

"The neighborhood has to be victimized for a matter of time in order for us to go into court," LaTorre said. "That's the system that's in place right now. The legislators need to look at the laws and update them. Until the law gets changed, nothing is going to change."

Clearly, the PLCB assigns more priority to enforcing paperwork in tony neighborhoods than to easing violent crime in sketchier ones.

How Philadelphia informed Barfly

Following the bouncing links today, I caught these lines from Charles Bukowski, speaking to Roger Ebert about Barfly:

"I knew the morning bartender. He would let me in at 5 a.m. I'd get two hours of free drinks before the bar opened at 7. I'd stay in the bar until it closed. I got three hours of sleep, from 2 a.m. to 5 a.m."

"Where was this bar located?" I asked him.

"It was located in two places, because this story is based on two different bars. One of them was in Philadelphia, at 16th and Fairmont [sic]. It no longer exists. The other one was here in L.A., at 6th and Alvarado."

Bukowski didn't spend much time in Philadelphia, but I keep saying that there's a very good reason why the two alcoholics I dated lived in that neighborhood.

Christmas extended until late afternoon on the 27th

My holidays are being protracted under family obligation circumstances beyond my control.

Luckily, I laid in a store of Scotch on the 24th.

Alcohol may have been a factor

A fan who was on the bus and posted his experiences on the local sports blog, The 700 Level, said he didn't know why there was a "big brawl" between the two factions of Flyers fans, but assumed it may have had something to do with all-day drinking.

You can almost smell the fumes coming off the video at The 700 Level's blog entry.

Even the ACS figures I'm going to fail the bar exam

From the mailbox:

To: Glomarization
From: events@acslaw.org
Subject: ACS PHILADELPHIA ANNOUNCEMENT: Happy Hour, presented by the Philadelphia Chapter of the American Constitution Society

The Philadelphia Chapter of the American Constitution Society and the
Center City Chapter of Drinking Liberally present a:

Happy Hour

Tuesday, July 28, 2009
6:00 p.m.
Triumph Brewing Company
117 Chestnut Street
Philadelphia, PA

(Emphasis mine.) Tuesday 28 July is day 1 of the Pennsylvania bar exam.

Actually, to tell the truth, I'm making it a game-day decision whether I go to Driberally that night.

Users are children

In order to better understand what was going on with my alcoholic, pathological liar ex-boyfriend, I read Jerry Stahl's Permanent Midnight this week.

The memoir goes into more detail about the day-to-day life activities of a user than I'd been familiar with. But Stahl's explanations of his background and reasons for using were similar to what I've heard and seen many times: lousy childhood and poor parenting leading to extreme feelings of worthlessness; use starts in the teens, as a way to dull or obliterate the thoughts that cause the pain; use continues and intensifies during the 20s, when the body is vigorous and resilient and can process dumptrucks of drugs; and some other people's lives get wrecked along the way.

Eventually you end up in your 30s or 40s without having the skills to actually ever deal with a problem, because you've spent the years of your life, when most people learn how to deal with problems, blasted away from your problems. If you quit without therapy -- or without access to good self-help books and a determination to do the work on your own -- then you end up a dry-drunk with anger management problems, a person mentally half or a third your actual age. If you don't quit, then you end up leaving Las Vegas, wrecking some other people's lives along the way.

In the meantime, you lie. Using is a secret, and it's a huge one. To keep it up, you have to lie, and eventually you get really good at it, and you get into the habit of lying about everything, all the time. You get good at it, because it's like evolution: if you don't get good at lying, then you can't get money and time for your habit. And the lying is not like that of an ordinary person who's maybe a little more reserved and shy than most, and doesn't open up easily. Rather, it's a knee-jerk, unconscious reaction to every situation and every question you encounter: you lie. If your childhood was bad in a particular way, then the lying is intertwined with oppositional-defiant behavior, too, that you never outgrew because you medicated yourself out of outgrowing your adolescence. Eventually you end up in your 30s or 40s and you know of no other way to interact with the world than to constantly want the opposite of whatever the other party wants. You don't know why or even realize that you're doing it, which causes trouble and pain to go along with the social discord that the oppositional behavior causes anyway, so you dose yourself so you don't feel it.

At bottom, users are children. They made themselves halt growing up. They started using in order to stop the thoughts and emotions they had in reaction to the painful environment they were in. But you can't move out of childhood without processing those thoughts and emotions and learning how to deal with them when they come up again throughout your life.

So it's a thing to keep in mind when you meet a user (or come to realize that someone you've known for a while is a user). They're still a child. If they quit and stay quit, then you're likely to be dealing with someone at the same emotional maturity level you were at when you finished high school.

Speaking of which, I think a friend of mine is back on the Bolivian marching powder. My first thought was, "Damn." I confess my second thought was, "Must be nice to have that much cash on hand."

Driberally tonight

The Center City chapter of Drinking Liberally meets tonight at Triumph Brewery. We'll be in the upstairs bar, enjoying drink and food specials, from 6:00 to 9:00 p.m.

Triumph Brewery is at 117 Chestnut Street in Old City. It's conveniently SEPTA-accessible via the Market-Frankford El (2nd Street station), all the buses that turn around at or near Penn's Landing (5, 12, 17, 21, 33, 42, 48), and a few other buses that pass nearby (9, 25, 38, 40, 44, 47, 57, 61).

Tonight's topic: R.I.P. Socks the cat, c. 1989 - 2009.

Oh, and at 9:00 there's some kind of speech on TV. I'm told it's important. We'll be watching it on a projection screen, same deal as what we did for the Superbowl. Please post suggestions for a drinking game here.

"Come for the beer, stay for the check"

Driberally tonight

Drinking Liberally, Center City Philadelphia chapter, meets tonight at Triumph Brewery from 6:00 to 9:00. As always, there's no cover -- just meet at the upstairs bar to enjoy drink and food specials and stimulating conversation. Get it? Stimulus package? Stimulating conversation!

Triumph Brewery is at 117 Chestnut Street in Old City. It's conveniently SEPTA-accessible via the Market-Frankford El (2nd Street station), all the buses that turn around at or near Penn's Landing (5, 12, 17, 21, 33, 42, 48), and a few other buses that pass nearby (9, 25, 38, 40, 44, 47, 57, 61). If it were summer, you could even take a ferry from Camden.

Tonight's topic: Allergies? Seriously? In February? Wasn't the wind chill in the single digits this morning? Explains my most recent sore throat, anyway.

"Come for the beer, stay for the check"

Profoundness: on the home of tax-free shopping

The other day I was asked to think of stores in Delaware where a friend may find Girl Scouts selling cookies out front. The store that immediately came to mind was Kreston Liquor Mart.

Jesus god get me out of law school now.

Driberally tonight

Drinking Liberally, Center City Philadelphia chapter, meets tonight, 6:00 - 9:00 at Triumph Brewery, 117 Chestnut Street in Old City. There are beer, wine, and mixed drink specials, as well as deals on burgers and single-serving pizzas. I can't make it tonight because of a previous commitment, but never fear: find a tent card on the bar for self-help.

Triumph Brewery is conveniently SEPTA-accessible via the Market-Frankford El (2nd Street station), all the buses that turn around at or near Penn's Landing (12, 17, 21, 33, 42, 48), and a few other buses that pass nearby (5, 25, 47, 57). If it were summer, you could even take a ferry from Camden.

Tonight's topic: Why does WXPN play Coldplay? Ever? At all?

Drinking Liberally also meets in South Philly (Wednesdays at the South Philadelphia Tap Room, 1509 Mifflin Street) and West Philly (Thursdays at the Blarney Stone, 3929 Sansom Street). I can't attend on Wednesdays and Thursdays for family reasons, but I've been assured that they're just as entertaining as Tuesday nights at Triumph.

"Come for the beer, stay for the check"

Driberally tonight

The Center City Philadelphia chapter of Drinking Liberally meets tonight at Triumph Brewery, 117 Chestnut Street in Old City, 6:00 - 9:00. Beer, wine, mixed drink, and food specials available, depending on how early you show up. Dig the tent cards at the bar for details or ask Mithras, since I can never remember them all.

This week's topic: Book talk by Mike Lux of OpenLeft, author of The Progressive Revolution. The author will read an excerpt from his book, which is catching some buzz:

"As a seasoned political practitioner with a keen grasp of American history, Mike Lux brings a special perspective to the task of defining the progressive challenge today. He finds the answers in the story of America’s progress, which he tells with great care, insight, and originality."
-David Brock, Founder of Media Matters for America

"Mike is that rarest breed: a populist insider. He brings that perspective to The Progressive Revolution, telling the great story of how progressives have given us a better America."
-Wes Boyd, co-founder of MoveOn

The book talk will be held upstairs, in the space behind the bar area where the Drinking Liberally crowd usually meets.

Drinking Liberally chapters also meet in South Philadelphia on Wednesdays at the South Philly Tap Room (1509 Mifflin Street), and on Thursdays at the Blarney Stone (3929 Sansom Street).

"Come for the beer, stay for the check"

Driberally this evening

Drinking Liberally, Center City chapter (though the South and West Philly chapters are more than welcome!), is meeting this afternoon for a Super Bowl party. From the official announcement:

It's the Steelers v. the Cardinals in the Super Bowl, and Drinking Liberally is there. Even though the Eagles will not be in it, we're definitely having a party anyway. And if you're going out to watch the big game, Triumph Brewing is the perfect place: We have a big projection television and our own dedicated bartender/server.

Also, Bruce Springsteen at halftime. You have to see that.

Dig it, we even have an obviously professionally designed logo prepared especially for the event:

Triumph Brewery, 117 Chestnut Street in Old City, Philadelphia, 5:00 - 10:00. We're upstairs, in the space behind the bar. RSVP via the Facebook. No cover!

"Come for the beer, stay for the check"

Driberally tonight

Drinking Liberally, Center City Philadelphia chapter, meets tonight at the Triumph Brewery, 117 Chestnut Street in Old City. There are food and drink specials; dig the tent cards on the bar.

Tonight's topic: Prof. Calabresi has addressed the oath "controversy," and we are happy to be assured that President Obama is, indeed, constitutionally the president.

So tonight, we raise a glass to Prof. Calabresi. Bottoms up!

Driberally today: inauguration party

Philadelphia's Center City chapter of Drinking Liberally isn't meeting tonight, because we're all going to the Plough and the Stars, a venue that we cruelly spurned recently in favor of another tavern, but which has offered to host a hell of an inauguration party instead:


RSVP required. No cover! Free beer while supplies last. But you must RSVP.

Sponsors roll call: Philadelphia City Paper, The Plough and the Stars, Drinking Liberally, Philadelphia Neighborhood Networks, Philadelphia Young Democrats, American Constitution Society, two.one.five magazine, Philly for Change, EducationVotersPA.org, Samuel Adams.

Driberally today

The Field House being an inappropriate venue for elitist liberals to meet to watch a football game, it has been decided that the game will be watched and beer will be drunk at the Triumph Brewery this afternoon. This is the usual venue for Drinking Liberally Center City Philadelphia, so you should know how to get there. It has been pointed out to me that there is a space behind the upstairs bar with a projection TV and its accompanying screen. Dig the beer bottle, poised temptingly toward your lips:

Obnoxiously compulsively early people like myself will arrive at 2:30; kick-off is at 3:00.

Driberally tonight

Drinking Liberally Tonight at Triumph Brewing, 117 Chestnut Street in Philadelphia, 6:00 to 9:00. Food and drink specials; ask Mithras for details, because I can never keep them straight.

Tonight's topic: Richard Perle, like the little "Not Me" ghost in the Family Circus comic, and despite PNAC's own letter to the contrary, is saying that he had absolutely no influence on the Bush Administration's decision to invade Iraq. So tell me, what have you categorically not been doing for the past eight years?

Driberally today

A special Drinking Liberally today! Word on the street is that we're meeting at high noon at the Field House, the sports bar that replaced the sadly departed Independence Brew Pub. I used to have a growler from there. Anyway, it's at 1150 Filbert Street in Philly, behind the Reading Terminal Market, where there used to be a sign that looked like this image, which is hotlinked, so it may go away at any time:


Today's topic: What's it called when you learn something (like people's names) in a particular context (say, a particular bar on Tuesday evenings), and when you encounter the same thing in a different context (say, a different bar on a Sunday afternoon), you can't remember what it is you learned?

Oh, and not to fear: the Eagles game will on the TVs, since it's a sports bar.